Sickness and the Sweetness of Jesus

I've been bad about updating these days... It's been a crazy few months. LOTS of sickness. The end of June through the beginning of August we successfully passed 2 awful viruses back-to-back (first batch was when my family was in town visiting) and the second round ended up putting my sweet Scarlett in the hospital because of how dehydrated she was. She got a pink teddy bear out of it so she was stoked! We also passed multiple colds in between all the vomit... Not a good time at all. As a Mama, it's so hard watching your babies (including my sweet Hubs) be so sick for so long. My Uly boy had high fevers from teething as well as a good dose of the stomach flu which was awful with him so young.

Just when I thought we were out of the woods with sickness, we went to church on a sunday morning (and when we go all together, because of the one car thing we have going on, we get there at 7am and stay till 2pm) and while my Hubby was in pastors prayer, my boy started throwing up in the cafe. When they are little it can be hard to know if it's vomit or just good ol' fashioned spit up. I was nervous and hopeful. The whole day was just about to get really messy. Long story short, he started getting a high temp and was really fussy, my three year old ended up having some... let's say... “skid marks” on her chonies and I had to clean her up and put her in a diaper for lack of new chonies. After cleaning up that, I went back into the bathroom to clean my hands and found that some other kiddo (at least I hope it was a kid) had missed the toilet altogether and then decided to step in it and stomp around a bit before leaving the bathroom. (and no, it wasn't pee!) I saw it, got grossed out, walked out of the bathroom and then realized that somebody had to clean it so I went back in and freshened the place up. It was nasty… Then baby boy ended up having 4-5 bouts of the runs back-to-back and the first round exploded all over me. It was the messiest day.  I was Smelly-McGee that day and spent the rest of the day in my Hubby’s office. We came home and dealt with lots more messiness BUT at least we were home! Another sweet blessing was a family in our church stopped by and showered us with  lots of yummy food and the sweetest cards.

I am still dealing with dizziness and lots of head pressure everyday. I’ve seen SO many people and tried SO many things and still it’s something I have to endure. Some days are light while other days are so extreme that I don’t feel I can get through the day. I am thinking that it’s hormones now and hoping that when I stop nursing that I’ll feel normal again. It’s been a very long and heavy 18 months to say the least. The positive in it all has been what it has caused in my relationship with the Lord. Being sick for this long has brought me to some of the lowest of lows I’ve ever had, and yet in it all it has made me rely upon the Lord in such an intense way that I would have never experienced without this season in my life.  Most days I have to either have worship playing in the backround, have a bible teaching online or reading the bible myself just to get through the day without becoming so overwhelmed by it all. I have to keep my eyes on Jesus or I’m a mess.

This quote I heard a bit ago and it is always on my mind:
“If we come to see the purpose of the universe as God’s long term glory rather than our short term happiness, then we will undergo a critical paradigm shift in tackling the problem of suffering.” –Randy Alcorn

I have asked everyday for 18 months that the Lord would bring healing and although He hasn’t chosen to answer me the way I want, He has given me strength in the waiting.  I don’t know why I’m this sick. I don’t know why the doctors can’t figure it out. I don’t know if I will ever get better. BUT I do know that the Lord is fully in control, allowing this all to happen, loves me like the dickens and has a plan in it all. You know the saying, “God cares more about our holiness then our happiness.” Well ain’t that the truth!  The Lord has and continues to do SO much in my heart and mind through this crazy season in my life. He is ever present and although this prayer is still in a waiting process, He has answered countless other prayers and blessed us in ways I never thought possible. God knows what He’s doing, even when I don’t have a clue!

Anyhoo, I have lots of pictures to share with you all soon and hoping to blog a little more to share in all the good things that the Lord is doing in my family and our life out here.

Talk to you soon! ~Abs