Life is Messy

Life is Messy

Life can get pretty messy.  It seems to not really be what you expect it to be which can feel even more messy at times. At least it does for me. Regardless of my plan making skills, things don't really go "as planned" for me.  The verse on our wedding invitations was Proverbs 16:9 which says, "A man's heart plans his ways, but the Lord directs his steps." This verse has been the story of my life. I plan it and God does something different.  Sometimes it's better than I ever could have dreamed of and other times it's messy and confusing and hard.  "For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” - Hebrews 12:6

The "discipling" and "chastening" of the Lord often feels painful or uncomfortable or like the Lord is mad at you. BUT this verse says that He does it to those "HE LOVES".  He must really love me cuz holy moly, there's been a lot of shtuff going on. 

I'm a total planner and God doesn't do things according to my plans. He's much more creative. Isaiah 55:8-9 is a reminder that His ways and His thoughts are not our ways and our thoughts. They are so much higher and serve a greater purpose than my plans could ever do.  My plans serve me, whereas His plans serve a greater purpose.  He sees the end from the beginning and everything in between.  I only see what's in front of me.

In church on Sunday, the teaching was a good reminder that all Christians are in a battle and there is conflict all around us. It's easy to feel like "the ONLY one" going through something hard.  Most christians put there best foot forward, whether on Facebook, Instagram (or other social media), Church, social gatherings, whatever it may be, and it's really easy to look like we all have it together when in reality everything might be falling apart.  Nobody out there has it all together all the time but it's easy to make it appear that way. That's why I love the Bible so much.  God is a big boy and can handle the sin and failures of His children. He doesn't hide the truth and reality of His people to make Himself look good.  He shows their sin and mistakes and faithlessness and doubts and drama and also shows the greatness of His love and forgiveness and faithfulness to them through it all.  I have hope reading the Bible. 

I love John's story.  He was the one to pave the way for Christ to come on the scene and then when He arrived, John was imprisoned and sent his own disciples to Jesus to ask if He was really "the One".  Clearly this was not how he envisioned life to go.  John was the forerunner of Christ. He had been prophesied about before he was born. Being imprisoned while Jesus was out there finally ministering was surely not the plan in his mind... but it was the plan for whatever reason.  

That story is comforting to me. We aren't owed anything from God but we sure as heck act like it. 

I've had some bratty moment with the Lord lately and He's been very patient through them.  In Luke 6:35 it says that the Lord is kind to the ungrateful.  I will say a hearty "Amen" to that right there. For reals, people! When going through trials it's really easy to start pegging God in the wrong light. "He doesn't listen"... "He doesn't love me"... "He doesn't care"... "He isn't doing anything"... "He's mad at me"... "He must like them better"... "He must not see what that person is really doing or He would have stopped them or done something by now"... and on the list goes. 

Again, His thoughts and ways are not ours so when I compare what He does or doesn't do to what I would do or would't do, I'm saying that I really know what is best and I could do things way better. It's funny how the mind works. My kids would eat doughnuts and chocolate and gummy bears and soda all the live long day if they could. Mama says "NO" and in their baby brains that can seem unfair.  I can remember those days as a kid when my parents would tell me I couldn't stay over at a friends house that night because it was a school night and thinking to myself, "When I'm a Mom, I'm gonna let my kids have friends over every night!" Or when I couldn't eat ALL the cookie dough I would think, "When I'm a Mom, my kids will be able to eat as much cookie dough as they want!" .... Then I grew up and became a Mom and I don't think that way at all! I want the best for my kids. I don't want them to overload on junk {even though it would make them happy}. I don't want them losing sleep when they have school in the morning {even though it would make them happy}.  They could think I'm unfair even though I am thinking ahead and doing what I know is best for them {although I actually have kids that so far don't play the "unfair game" and are pretty cool about having good attitudes. They don't get that from me!}.

Something that has been really good for my heart lately is reminding myself truths about God from scripture. I was listening online to a women's study and the speaker was going over that verse, "Whatever things are true" and she encouraged the ladies to really focus on that. So that's what I'm doing in the midst of some messiness. It's been really good and really grounding to my heart. I recommend it. 

He loves me

He is faithful

He listens to me

He is kind

He restores souls

He leads me

With Him anything is possible

He seeks to strengthen the hearts of those committed to Him

He works all things for good

His ways are not my ways

His ways are past finding out 

He forgives

And lots and lots more

It's too easy to forget truths about the Lord in the messy seasons of life.  That's why staying in the Word is so vitally important.  Regardless of what I am going through, I want my strength to come from the Lord so that my kids can see it. I don't want them to look back someday and say that when times got hard, Mom stopped hindin' her crazy (thank you Miranda Lambert) and ran from the Lord. I want them to see Jesus in me and in my life no matter what so that when they go through heavy seasons {which they will}, they can cling to Jesus and find strength in Him as well. 

Anyhoo, just having a mommy thought.

lovelove, Abs