Feeling silenced...

I’ve felt very silenced in this season of life that we’ve been in. I don’t know if you’ve felt this way before, but when things happen in life that are confusing or painful or unplanned or embarrassing or just those humbling times in life that the Lord strips you of things you thought you “needed”, it can feel like you don’t have much of a voice to speak… Or at least that’s how I’ve felt for so long now. It’s so easy for me to take my eyes off of Jesus and put them onto what physically is in front of me at the moment. Whether it’s a financial problem, a relational problem, dirty dishes, plans not going my way, expectations let down, kids screaming, a dirty bum to clean, grocery shopping to be done, clothes needing to be washed, emotional pain from the past, getting stuck in pity-party mode, or anything else that is distracting and I can get so discouraged and depressed at times that even when I feel the Lord’s tugging at my heart to write or to saying something to someone or on stage to a group of people, instantly I have that voice of the enemy whisper reminders of my sin, failures, loss, embarrassments, or pain, and there I am again as if tape were across my mouth to keep me silent. Sometimes I can push past it and other times I get lost in it, believing it all.  

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love and of a sound mind.” - 2 Timothy 1:7

I can choose to be led in fears and doubts or I can choose to fix my eyes on Jesus and step forward in faith, believing that He has a purpose for all that we’ve walked through. If it’s true that with the Lord, nothing is wasted, then I want to step into that truth and not allow the good He HAS done to be silenced by my own pain or struggle or insecurities.

In this virtual world where we only see each other's “highlight reel” and life appears so much easier for everyone else, you can quickly feel inadequate and as though you are the only one struggling the way you are. 

BUT that’s not true at all. 

Everyone is facing their own battle. 

From the mom who is perfectly put together and peaceful looking to the mom in sweats and a topknot raising her voice at her kids… 

to the mom in a big and beautifully kept home to the mom living in a tiny apartment that feels overly crowded… 

to the mom who always seems to have a verse to share and joy overflowing to the mom that feels she can’t even remember what it would be like to just sit and open her bible for longer than 2 minutes and is 

desperate for the Lord…

WE ALL face hard times. 

WE ALL need Jesus. 

WE ALL have heartaches, whether past or present or coming soon. 

WE ALL could use encouragement and kindness and hope and love. 

And sometimes, when we are in the heat of the battle and feel all is lost and the darkness of our discouragements creep up and want to choke us out, someone is actually brave enough to speak out in the midst of their own struggle and it brings life and hope that through Christ, we can keep pressing through. That “joy comes in the morning”. 

Don’t allow the voice of the enemy to silence you in your journey with Jesus. It’s a bumpy ride to say the least, but in heavy times, that’s when our faith is truly tested. Of course I can lift my hands and praise the Lord when things go well for me, but the truest test is when all fails, all seems lost and broken and confusing, that I still choose Christ and I can lift my hands in faith, believing that He is good, that He loves me, that He has a future and a hope for my life even though I can’t see it now.